How to Be More Assertive (AKA How to Get What You Want)

𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲: < 1 minute

Assertiveness takes courage…

Especially for those of us who tend to be more empathic by nature…

There’s a likelihood that we can become too agreeable…

In looking out for others, we might neglect our own needs altogether…

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Let’s look to Carl Rogers, the man who more or less wrote the book on empathy (as far as academia is concerned).

If you look him up you’ll see he’s well known for his non-directive approach to therapy in which one simply listens with genuine concern and demonstrates to the client their deep, empathic understanding.

But you’ll be hard pressed to find anything about his confrontations with literally the entire field of Psychiatric Medicine.  Whom he fought tooth and nail to keep those pill pushers from taking away the right of psychologists to practice psychotherapy.

Or when he was invited to speak at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association…

Instead of taking a nostalgic walk down memory lane, the distinguished professor gave a scathing review of the value of certification and licensure (or lack thereof) in the field of clinical psychology.

Carl Rogers’ contributions to humanistic psychology are so well known and highly regarded that they’ve been integrated into everything from leadership training, to relationship counseling, to teaching, and even to FBI hostage negotiation techniques.

But for that to become of his teachings of empathy, there were times he had to stand up, be counted, and negotiate effectively on his own behalf.

As he has said so himself, “Being empathic is a complex, demanding, and strong — yet also subtle and gentle — way of being.”

Until next time,
Kevin